A Different and Better Way of Church

While I was a pastor I struggled with the discrepancy of what I was leading and experiencing in church versus what I read in the Bible. I asked two veteran pastors who were retired about why we do this and that. I remember one said it’s always been done that way and that he’s not really sure why.

It seems that the way we do church as we know it in the West is based on tradition of what’s always been done, and/or what “works” to get more butts in the seat with bigger budgets and giving, bigger buildings, bigger influence. Really a bigger name for ourselves for the sake of the “kingdom of God.” It sounds really similar to the Tower of Babel in Genesis 11 doesn’t it?

There was a stirring in my heart to gather more faithfully. Here are some things that I did:

• Intentionally made the service longer than an hour to push against consumerism and so that we have space to actually gather more faithfully.

• Incorporated a regular rhythm of individual and corporate prayer for maybe 10 minutes or so, which involved praise, repentance, confession. There was silence as people prayed.

• Increase observing the Lord’s Supper from 1x a quarter to 1x a month. I preferred every week though

Though these things helped us be more faithful, we were still in a model that was so prone to feed the desires of the flesh in consumerism, competition, comfort, control and celebrity which are cracks and values that are anti-Jesus (see previous post of Cracks in the DNA).

I didn’t realize this at the time but I believe there has to be an entire paradigm shift. I was able to meet brothers and sisters who pursued being faithful and fruitful for Jesus in a completely different paradigm. It is not just a Florida thing like in Tampa and Fort Myers. But it is national such as Alabama, Indiana, and Michigan. It is also global.

When I tried to explain what I was learning to people it was hard to explain. It still is in a way. It’s like I discovered a shape that no one has heard of. Have you ever heard of a nonagon? I did not know this until I try to find a weird shape lol. You may try to guess what it is but “a regular nonagon has nine equal sides and nine equal angles, each measuring 140 degrees, according to math reference sites.” Well now I know…kinda.

People try to interpret things with categories and definitions they already have. It takes extra communication and clarification to help people understand. But I find it is more caught than taught, as they say. If you experience it, it makes more sense. It helped us gather with some other believers who are pursuing this way of life to help us understand more. But let me try to explain this different paradigm.

Where Do You Gather?

Anywhere (building, house, park, bar, etc.). Personally we gather in our home.  It is simple, more intimate, and natural. I see it in the Bible as well. Buildings are fine but due to my experience it is SO connected to the prevailing model that it can set you up 10 steps back with some much baggage.

Who Gathers With You?

Sometimes it’s me, my wife, and my three kids under five. Other times it has been another family, a friend or two. That’s it. Lately it is just one other friend. And that’s enough. In Matthew 18 Jesus says where two or three are gathered together in His name, He’s there. Jesus will build what He wants to build for his church.

How Often Do You Gather and When?

If with my family, then ideally each day during dinner but doesn’t always work.  If others are joining us it just depends what may be best for them and us. My background and bent overall is Sundays and weekly because that’s what’s been done. There is no passage that commands weekly or on Sundays. It says not to neglect gathering in Hebrews 10. There is freedom in Christ in how that can look which is so beautiful. For us, we shoot for weekly but sometimes it is maybe 2-3 weeks or whatever is going on because life happens: sick, travel, work, etc. For us, we have tried Sundays, but our family now observes Shabbat (a day of rest) on Sundays. It was not helpful for us to gather with others on Shabbat. Now we gather on evenings such as a Monday or Wednesday, etc. because that works best for our schedule and others.

What Happens When You Gather?

We try to look back, look up, and look forward. Slang is three thirds (3/3s). I learned this language from others.

Look back: We usually start dinner somewhere between 530 or 630. If it’s just me and the family, I ask: What are you thankful for today? Or what was your favorite part of today? If with others, while we have dinner or after we put the kids bed 7-730pm, we try to check in with how each other is doing such as asking questions: what’s a high/low this past week? What has God been teaching you lately? How’s your relationship with God been lately? We may encourage each other or pray for each other.

Look Up: With just my family, we pray a prayer together for Jesus to speak to us and help us obey Him and do a Bible story. We talk about the story by asking: What did you like about the story? I want to implement more rhythms as well, but this is a start. I want to start implementing the prayer/story when others are with us too, because this is what we do as a family. With others are with us or just me and my wife, we try to read the Bible and then discuss using questions such as: what did you like/dislike/find challenging about it? What does this teach us about God/people? This usually happens after we put the kids to bed.

Look Forward: We used to do a listening prayer and are trying to get back in this rhythm. This is where after we read and discuss, we pray and ask God to speak to us. We are silent before and have a timer for about 2-3 minutes. And man, God has something to say a lot of times. It may be conviction of sin. It may be encouragement. It may be a specific step of obedience to take. Then we share what the Lord may lay on our hearts and minds, and ideally set a challenge for us to obey in light of the passage till we gather again. In Matthew 28, Jesus says to not just teach them but teach them to obey, so we want to do that.

Some gatherings we may not get to read the Bible because something comes up and we need to listen, encourage, and pray. We may do the Lord’s Supper. We may do a song, go through the attributes of God using the alphabet, etc. I found that in the New Testament there is not a play by play that must take in gatherings every single time. It is helpful I think to have some overall guide like 3/3s but we must rely on Spirit. There is freedom in Christ and it’s awesome. Also when others are with us, we try to rotate who facilitates ahead of time so people are equipped to multiply as the Lord leads. The goal is not to get more people to come and get big. The goal is to make disciples, help them gather, and help them multiply. Not be Tower of Babel.

A Different and Better Way

I have so much to learn and to grow into but I believe that this shift combats the values that are anti-Jesus that are in the prevailing model. This also does not cover everything but hopefully it is a start for some. This helps all contribute in our gathering and instead of breeding Consumerism. This helps us to focus on obedience to Jesus rather than Comfort. This helps us empower people to lead instead of having Control. This helps us rely on the Spirit rather than a Control every single gathering. This helps us release people to go and make the disciples instead of trying to get people to come to what we have built and breeding Competition. This helps us focus on Christ instead of one person as Celebrity of a church.

There’s a different way, and I think a better way. It has been life changing for me and my fam and others. It helps us be more faithful to Jesus and fruitful for Jesus.